see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
porn star boner night. come get it.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
