I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Still dying that you shit outside
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
