is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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