Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
