just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
