Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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