Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
