Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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