I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
