haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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