hotel room ftw
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Randomize
