Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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