Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
