Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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