areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize