am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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