RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
