fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
