he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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