we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
