i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
