I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
