he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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