But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
