I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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