No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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