Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
