quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
