Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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