so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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