So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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