I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the day after is always just damage control
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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