I bet he comes in French.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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