I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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