In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
