i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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