You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
