I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
