why didn't you poke me back
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
