i just google imaged poop.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize