I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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