garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm going to jail i love you
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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