Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
