I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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