You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
