we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
