This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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