Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
