I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
