dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
