Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
