don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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