Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
