I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize