Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
