Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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