"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
