Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
