his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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