I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
