I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize