Fuck appropriateness.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
