We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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