good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
