Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I think a kid would responsible me up
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize