My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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