Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
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