Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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